10 Ways Filmmakers Stay Unmarketable In A Recession

This is a follow up on an article I read titled, "10 Ways to Stay Marketable When You’re Out of Work." Instead of telling you how to stay marketable, I’d rather tell you 10 ways to stay unmarketable.

1. Hate Twitter

Its possible by now you’ve heard of this Twitter phenomenon. It’s also possible you or your friends have said something like this, “This looks stupid, and it doesn’t make any sense.” This is one line of thought that is a great way to stay unmarketable when out of work. It’s true that you don’t want to live your life 140 characters at a time, but a little Twittering a day could line you up for a job opportunity. In fact, Twitter now advertises “tweets” of job vacancies for specific companies. In 140 characters a “tweet” will be sent to your email or account with a short description and link to the job’s website. Check it out here: www.twitterjobsearch.com
But like I said if you want to stay unmarketable refuse to join Twitter, don’t share your thoughts on a blog, and get rid of your Linkedin account.

2. Watch Repeats of Your Favourite TV Show

I love nothing more than to come home after classes and watch The Simpsons or Seinfeld for an hour. I can probably boast more knowledge about these shows than the course I was just in. Even though these shows have great story structure, chances are you are probably watching them for catharsis. If you want to stay unmarketable then curl up in a ball with a bag of Walkers and a soda and watch all of Seinfeld’s season 2.

Here is a great article on the story structure of Seinfeld

I’m not saying you shouldn’t take time off to relax to the Simpson’s episode where Homer gets a crayon lodged in his brain, revealing his true high IQ, my favourite episode. What I’m saying is why not watch something new that furthers your insight into screenwriting or story structure. Which leads me to my next topic.

3. Don’t Rent Movies or Read Scripts

How often have you run into this person:

You: “So what do you want to do with your life?”
That person: “I want to make movies, like comedies and stuff.”
You: “Awesome, me too.”

Now how often do you or said person read scripts or watch new movies? If your answer is never, then you’ve achieved a great way to stay unmarketable. The preceding article gave advice to join a course of interest. Well, since I’m assuming you don’t have a job that option may remain too expensive. Instead teach yourself how to write screenplays by reading the script then watching the movie. Note: Don’t watch the movie and read the script at the same time, far too confusing. Raindance member section has a great deal of scripts in pdf forms

4. Do Sudoku Puzzles

I used to work at my school’s independent newspaper. What was most infuriating about the paper is its reliance on Sudoku users and comic strip readers. Thousands of papers a day were merely used for the 4x4 tear out Sudoku puzzle located with the crossword and comics. In no way am I saying this particular paper had something worth to read, but reading a newspaper is a great way to stay marketable. Just tearing out the fun games and laughing at the strips is not. Keeping fresh with the news and being aware of the local scene are great conversation starters with new contacts. In addition you come off as a more intelligent individual. Also another great exercise is to perform a story scramble. This exercise was handed out to members of the Raindance Writer’s Certificate Foundation.

First, search for a short story in the newspaper. Then figure out the setting for the piece: wilderness, village, city, oppressed city. Greater detail can be found during the course. Finally, find another equally appealing news story and try to combine it with the first story. Already you will have the making for a great movie. But I don’t want you becoming more marketable because you may take my future job, so here is a sudoku for you to do:

5. Become an Alcoholic and Use a Lot of Drugs

One of the best ways to stay unmarketable is to do a lot of drugs and drink all day. Obvious, I know. On the other hand a great way to stay marketable is to network at a pub. Look for social groups that interest you and join them on a night out. Remember Wedding Crashers rule number 27: Don’t over drink the machinery must work in order to close. This works for women in the movie, but is also practical when talking to a future employer. Although, there was a situation when I was out with a friend with alumni from the newspaper. He ended up getting completely knackered (British word, right?) and still seemed to get every alumnus’s card.

Here is a good take on how much to drink while networking by Tami Reiss: HERE

6. Don’t Go On Dates

Staying unmarketable is like being single in a foreign country. You’re not as desirable to the opposite sex/market and you talk funny/don’t know the company lingo. This may be a less appealing strategy unless you’re more of a maniacal individual. Why not date around until you find a woman with a Dad who is looking for a real go-getter (i.e. he doesn’t want his daughter dating a guy with no job). Besides you may also find true love. We all want that right, a job and true love. I smell a romantic-comedy starring Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson.

7. Don’t learn new computer skills

Depending on your market and preferred job another way to stay unmarketable is to have no additional skills. For instance not being able to use Adobe Photoshop or Excel Spreadsheet is a way to get a leg up in staying unmarketable. Most of these programs can be learned through how-to books or online videos. You don’t have to become a Final Cut Pro expert, but having some basics down may create an advantage over the competition.

8. Spend your free time on online role-playing games.

Nothing more should be said besides the title on this tip. But I will anyway. If you have some extra free time use it to build your resume. As stated in the preceding article volunteering at a local non-profit organization is a great resume builder. Although just maybe you will run into another troll from Gandor while playing World of Warcraft who has a job opening.

9. Use buzzwords in your resume

According to the article, “How to Market Yourself to Employers in a Recession” filling in your resume with buzzwords and clichés is not appropriate during a recession. In fact, if you want to stay unmarketable using the same tired format for your resume as everyone else is a great way to go nowhere. The articles states looking for a job on Monster.com or in a newspaper will only connect you with a human resources bureaucrat. Instead it gives helpful hints on how to really say what you want to get across about yourself. For example, instead of saying, “achieved exponential growth for commercial sales department,” say, “grew commercial sales 20% during the slowest quarter of the year and during a hiring freeze.” See the rest of the article HERE

10. Post provocative pictures of yourself online

Are you a part of any Facebook albums titled, “Just turned 21, about to get ****ed up,” or “Stan’s Bachelor party last night of debauchery?” Great, then you may be as unmarketable as they come. I know sometimes it’s hard not to be caught up in a Facebook album. It’s hard to avoid your friend who just loves to take candid shots at the party. You may have just been casually drinking a beer, but it doesn’t help when the subline reads, “the first of many,” or “here we go again.” If you have a friend that posts these pictures, slap them across the face, because they may be ruining your chance at a future job. Facebook albums don’t have to just hurt your marketability. Instead create your own album of artistic photos from a night out. Any bar scene or concert shot in black and white can become a work of art. Also albums can be a great way to show you’ve been places and experienced life.

For example, this is a photo of a beer glass outside Covent Garden’s street performances. You don’t see anyone drinking the beer, just a cool picture:

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Charlie Burroughs is an intern from Purdue University in Indiana. He likes to write, he likes to watch movies, he likes to write about movies, he likes movies about people who like to write, he really likes movies about interns who write about movies.That is if that movie ever existed.

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